I did not think that getting my braces off would be such a symbol of change to me but it was. When I was sixteen and pregnant, I had my braces unceremoniously and prematurely ripped off half way through my treatment. That would be the first “adult” decision I would make as a young mother. With my baby face and pregnant belly, I did not want to appear any younger than I already was with my braces on. Perhaps it was illogical teenage reasoning but a decision nonetheless.

Fast forward years later and my teeth had separated and moved creating a huge gap between my two front teeth and other spaces throughout my mouth. What is worse is that I then made my smile much worse by acquiring a two pack a day smoking habit combined with methamphetamine use (we have all seen those horrific pictures), a cocaine habit, alcoholism, bad nutrition, and you have the perfect storm to never smile again. I hated looking in the mirror for many reasons but my yellow-stained teeth and gap-filled smile always reminded me of all the mistakes I had made in my life. I tried to never smile in photographs. I felt absolutely powerless to change my life and that included the toll that drugs and alcohol had taken on my mind, body, and spirit.

Long story short, over some years, through the grace and power of a loving God, my life was completely changed as detailed in my book, Rebel Girl: The Fatherless Daughter. I wanted to change the damage that I had done to my smile. But, I was still a young single mother. I went to an orthodontist in my area in Southern California and he stated the simple fact that I could not afford braces. “Maybe when you're done with nursing school you can get braces on again. Until then, lets do a cheap solution.” I got an “implant” of sorts between my two front teeth to fill the gap but it made my two front teeth look jumbo-sized and it could chip off at any moment which always frightened me. However, after professional whitening, my smile looked much better than the previous smoker and drug addict’s smile ever did. Fast forward ten years later and I am now married to my childhood sweetheart (though I took a long detour) and had four more children and I am pregnant with my sixth now. Life today is practically a fairy tale compared to life before. Who I am today and what I was nineteen years ago is totally different. I got braces on again in February of 2016 at Grabow Orthodontics and just yesterday, October 10, 2017, I got them off. As I was sitting in the orthodontic chair, I had flashbacks of getting my braces taken off at the age of sixteen filled with shame and not wanting people to know how young and pregnant I was. I was surprised at how much of an emotional impact getting my smile back would have on me. Loving to smile again is an important part of my change. This morning I looked in the mirror, smiled, and thought, “there is nothing that the changing power of Christ and a little orthodontic work cannot change.”